Finally, a (short) life update.

June 10. Birthdate. Gemini. 33 years. What a blessing to be able to reach this milestone and experience life.

Five years ago, I wrote a letter to myself supposedly to remind me of how special and loved I am in times when I don't feel like one. Reading it brought back nostalgia and I realized how important it is to always write down my feelings. Primarily, because they are valid and they may come in handy a few years down the road. True enough, it gave me a little nudge to start this post. ☺️

I don't have any news to share on how successful I am nor is there any major life update. It’s just that after two years of creative block, words are freely flowing again. During the onset of the pandemic, I thought I was doing fairly okay. Covid took so much of our attention and energy that one day, I cannot write anything anymore. It was such a big deal from someone who enjoys doing her blogs (even if all people already moved on to other trending platforms). I had a hard time expressing myself. I lost track of what I really want to do. I seem to have forgotten my sense of self. I have a few drafts here in the blog but I can't seem to continue and have the courage to finalize and publish. In spite of this, what I am most thankful for during these times is the felt presence of family and friends. I have fostered and reestablished connections with my inner circle, I recognized the need for social interaction even if I am an introvert and I am finally learning to love myself again despite and regardless of all the things I am not.

Today, I just want to break free of the stereotypes. I want to be able to say how I am genuinely happy and how complete I am as an individual even without a child. But that doesn't mean I don't like to have one. There are a lot of things happening inside a woman's body that we cannot force it to get pregnant anytime. During the pandemic, I heard a lot of "nasa bahay lang naman kayo, bakit wala pang nabubuo?" Without even asking how we're trying to cope with the pandemic. People were quick to judge that there is nothing wrong when there are anxieties and panic attacks every now and then because you don't know what will happen next. Now that the hullabaloo is over, we can go back to the stage were we left off and hopefully we get the results we wanted soon. Often, the most quiet ones are those who have a lot on their minds. So please always be kind and mindful of your words. We don't need toxic positivity, unnecessary comments and questions.

Maybe because of how health has become the hottest topic the past 3 years, now I have a renewed interest in physical activities. I have never been the athletic type, but I learned long before that I am a (calculated) risk taker. I am adventurous in the sense that if I have someone with me to take on a challenge, I will gladly tag along. Say, running or biking, since my family are doing it, I pursued it as well. I also started to get back on strength training. In addition to that, I even signed up for a full marathon (more of this on another post, but no pressure hehe)! 

I guess that’s it for this short life update. I am just so glad I was able to open the site and put my thoughts into words (okay with a lot of revisions and deletions here and there 😂). As always, I just want to remind you that it’s okay to get lost, to seek help, and to place yourself first as a form of self-love. Trust the process, endure the hardships, and eventually you’ll get there. 

Still busy healing,

Iselle