Wedding Insider: I think I'm losing my friends

I was browsing my Facebook memories when I happen to see the time where I went to Ilocos with one of my closest friends. It led me to reflecting that we have known each other since we were in second year high school but when college came, just like with any other friends, we went our different ways. It was only last 2012 that we started "rekindling" our dormant friendship. Despite meeting her after a long time, there were no feelings of indifference. It really felt like we only saw each other yesterday. Still close as ever. Mending a broken heart is a great excuse in seeing your friends and being closer with them MORE than before. I am one lucky girl to have friends who are like this even if we don't talk and see each other often.

When I became engaged, one of the first few I informed about the great news other than my family are my friends. Because who else right? They are the only ones who knows, in detail, about our love story since day 1. I cannot think of anyone else I want in my wedding than those whom we know personally and has been with us ever since we started dating. It is also through my set of friends that I found the support I needed in preparing for our big day. In fact, some of the pledges I received for the wedding came from them. Another tip! Lessen your expenses by finding friends who are willing to do the job for you for free. 😂 (Ehem, thank you, bespren!)

But if there are material things I gained, there are also things that I lost. There is something about preparing for married life that prohibits you from seeing ALL your friends regularly and is giving you that feeling that you are slowly drifting apart. Hindi na nga kami nagkikita madalas nung single ako, mas lalo ngayon na nag-aayos kami ng kasal. I was busy going in and out with Martin - reserving the church, finding suppliers and buying materials needed for the wedding day itself. When you are preparing for something as big and life changing as this (and on a tight budget!), it will consume even your precious weekends. Because for an office employee like Martin and I, these are the only days that we can spare to think and do something about the wedding. It's like your partner is slowly becoming one of your best friends too. Of course, it doesn't mean you tend to forget your other close friends. It just so happened that the event your preparing involves just your fiancé and you.

But friends, let me assure you this, even if it seems that we are slowly drifting apart, you will always have a special place in my heart. We just have to realize that we are not the high school or college students anymore who have their time in their hands and not have anything big to think about except to pass the subjects and to submit assignments on time. And that the process of transitioning and entering adulthood really does take a toll on our usual routine and lifestyle. Despite these, I can guarantee you that given the chance and less the responsibilities, I would still love to hang out with you and talk about anything under the sun for the whole day. I hope you'll still consider me as your friend because I do you.

On the other hand, if you're on the other end, meaning your closest friend is about to get married and it looks like she has a new life on her own, she still needs you MORE than ever. She needs you to tell her that her idea is boring and lacking. She wants to hear from you that you are willing to help her in any way you can and that you will really do it. She needs that extra boost of encouragement that despite all unpleasant circumstances wedding preparation entails she is still doing a good job. She wants you to get excited and be nervous at the same time as she feels. Because that's how your relationship used to be right? About being on the same wavelength and "feelings" as each other. She wants you to go on this journey together as well. All she ever wants is an assurance that this is just a phase and that she will always be your friend. Similar to my example in the first part, this is just a time where we separate temporarily but we come back with a stronger bond as before. Nothing beats having someone to lean on during the times that it can be stressful on the preparation.

So I guess my main takeaway is that: a wedding is a union of two people but life in general will always be better if you are surrounded with true friends. It should not be a reason to lose some but rather a great opportunity to be more bonded with each other.

(Note: Wedding insider is a series of articles that I will post regarding the happenings related to my marriage. This is hopefully one of the many.)