Amid My Silent Reverie

One afternoon, I browsed a meme on my Facebook newsfeed that read something like:  "Ilang kape ang naubos mo para sa planner na yan tapos ano na ngayon?"  For some, it may sound funny but for others, they might despise the situation all the more and think  "oo nga naman, sayang ang pera ko. wala naman natuloy sa mga plano ko."  We must always remember, in the things we say, in the posts we make, and in this blog I wrote, each and everyone of us have varying degrees of interpretation.  Different folks, different strokes . 

I am a homebuddy. But staying in the house 24/7 for almost 16 days now with the threat of a pandemic right outside the doorstep is way waaaaay different. Things are happening so fast. Sixteen days ago, I started working from home. Fourteen days ago, Community Quarantine was implemented which later on turned to Enhanced Community Quarantine (ECQ) two days after. That was quite a lot, isn't it? Is there a pause button?

I am a thinker, a worrier and an emotional person. Sometimes I use it to my advantage by writing blogs and empathizing with people but it can also be my weakness especially when I tend to overthink. I always reflect on the happenings in my life and put meaning as to why I am in a certain situation. Many people say, you should just enjoy life and stop worrying. But how do you even do that when the decisions you make today will most probably affect your future? Can you always say, "come what may?" Notice that I used always to maintain the premise that there are still some battles you could fight your way to the top and there are those which you should know when to give up. One day out of the blue, I wondered on the concept of "adulting." Every after life's storms, there's a silver lining.

Agripa-Diño Nuptials, January 18, 2018, San Antonio de Padua, Parañaque

I was browsing my Facebook memories when I happen to see the time where I went to Ilocos with one of my closest friends. It led me to reflecting that we have known each other since we were in second year high school but when college came, just like with any other friends, we went our different ways. It was only last 2012 that we started "rekindling" our dormant friendship. Despite meeting her after a long time, there were no feelings of indifference. It really felt like we only saw each other yesterday. Still close as ever. Mending a broken heart is a great excuse in seeing your friends and being closer with them MORE than before. I am one lucky girl to have friends who are like this even if we don't talk and see each other often.

Preparing for a wedding is not a walk in the park. Stress and panic does not choose who or when it will visit and it is not particular on whether your celebration is an extravagant or a simple one. To set the expectations right, even if you are the most obsessive compulsive person out there, you will still experience wedding jitters brought about by the hodgepodge of varied and unexplainable emotions. But if at the end of each passing day, you can look at your partner and tell him that he's still the one despite and regardless of the emotional roller-coaster ride, then by all means, hold on to him/her and go on with the preps!

Would you be brave enough to wholeheartedly accept and openly discuss what you are not capable of? Do you feel scared or are you making a habit of doing reflections regularly? I believe it is not a sign of weakness nor an excuse not to achieve your goals. On the contrary, it is a very good opportunity for us to improve on our crafts, on our selves. You may not even realize it but even the most optimistic person has his/her own personal issues. I have a couple of things under my sleeves too!  Quote from tinybuddha.com

I don't know anyone who is not familiar with the "golden rule." I remember it being taught to me since I started schooling. Those days when we are usually in conflict with our classmates. I guess it has always been easier to teach someone how to be kind by putting that person in the place of another individual's shoes. Presenting a new perspective has a better impact because we think and make realizations using our brain. So why am I writing this instead of doing office work? The start of 2017 has been rough for the family since the passing of a loved one but the challenge continued for me when I had to take a leave from work to nurse my Shingles (7 days and counting. Ouch!) . The long days of isolation led me to do some reflection on the behaviors I am recently observing (and experiencing..? 😏) most particularly with regards to this Golden Rule.   

"Nalulungkot ako. Ibang klaseng lungkot. Lungkot na hindi umiiyak, lungkot na hindi naglulupasay, lungkot na hindi ko kayang magsaya. Tumatawa ako subalit sa bawat paglakas ng halakhak, kumikirot ang puso ko. Tinatanong ko ang sarili ko, "Bakit ka masaya?", "Tama bang ganyan ka kasaya?" Nawalan ako. Nawalan kami. Ano bang tamang gawin? Kailan ba dapat ipagpatuloy ang hakbang? Hanggang kailan ba dapat tumigil at magluksa? Sa totoong lang, may katapusan ba talaga ang pagluluksa? Hindi na kailan man mapupunuan ang kung anong nawala.

What are the indicators you look for in your partners to prove that they love you? Do you count the gifts or the times they say "I love you?" Or the instances they have posted sweet messages on Facebook? There are more than a thousand ways to show our love for a person but the most common, I think, of which we tend to disregard are the SACRIFICES . It may be unnoticed or less appreciated, but in reality, it is a culture embedded in each and everyone of us. It just varies depending on the level of willingness to sacrifice. It is an everyday thing; just like when we stay up late every night talking to our partners instead of sleeping; when we could've eaten every food that has our favorite shrimp but we wouldn't because we know they are allergic; when the guys could've been driving home but they have to bring their partners to their homes first even if that is farther away than their places; when we could've bought that nice pair of shoes but we couldn't ...

In the midst of my usual quiet and alone time this morning, I unexpectedly received a message from a friend who wanted to share the recent status of her relationship with her boyfriend. A few experiences on the matter does not make me a guru but I felt really humbled that she chose me as her confidant. I cherish the times that my friends come to me asking for an advice or just a listening ear. All the while they thought I was only helping them but in reality, they are also returning the favor to me - by making me feel that I am needed and I personally think it is living a life with purpose. Apparently, her boyfriend is calling their relationship to a close but she hasn't accepted it yet. And based on her stories, it maybe because the man is already talking and hanging out with someone else. They have been together for the longest time now; shared numerous birthdays, monthsaries , anniversaries, a list of favorite restaurants to go to, bought countless of couple stuff together ...

Today, as most workers celebrate “Labor Day” in the Philippines, I am officially welcoming my self as a new member of another organization. Others are enduring long lines on job fairs while I am already counting the days to my first salary to my new employer. It was not an easy path and decision but I have decided to move on by accepting their offer. It’s amazing how a simple decision from a choice of only two options: yes or no, can suddenly turn our worlds into anew. And of how you spend minutes, hours or even days contemplating and plotting a matrix of pros and cons just to make sure that you arrive to the best decision. But I learned that in whatever path you chose to select, you always have to make up to it whether it was the most appropriate or not.

You are constantly browsing your different social media accounts and you see posts with the tag #100happydays. Were you curious on what it's all about? #100happydays is a happiness campaign meant to highlight the positive things happening in our lives and make it the focus of our everyday. It can be anything that made you happy or smile in a specific day from eating your favorite comfort food, watching a movie, hanging out with friends/family or finding joy in your surrounding - precisely anything under the sun! It is not to disregard and be blinded by the current problems we're facing but rather a slight shift in perspective which can also help us straighten our minds and maybe figure out the answers to our dilemmas.  I learned about the campaign on one of Rappler's article and was entirely swept away with the idea so I decided to begin the day after. The challenge is to post one entry everyday until the 100 days are completed, in an account of your choice may it...

I'm getting old in here. I've been in this community (and in this work) for almost three years now. Fairly young compared to other tenured employees but I know I'm getting older in this place. You want to know how I knew? Business establishments closing here and there, some undergo reorganizing, top management retiring so same process of introducing myself, the company and the project once again. It's not that hard, I have acquainted myself in talking to numerous people endlessly. It's basically what I do for a living, actually. I don't know if aging in here and in this line of work is positive or negative for my career. But I have come to think things over a gazillion times on where my niche is. As of the moment, I know what path to take. And I know sooner or later, I would have to say goodbye in this familiar place, my comfort zone. Someday, I will have to push my wings wide open and fly on my own. When that time comes, I'll miss walking in the streets...