Wedding Insider: Practical tips for the practical brides and grooms

Now, we've come to the end. This has been the best adventure that my husband and I undertook to date. So even if I'm a bit sad, this is probably my last entry for the blog series "Wedding Insider." But looking at the brighter side, it is an opportunity to write other interesting topics in the future. That being said, let us end this on a high note. To date, we already know:

1. What we did right after engagement
2. How we tend to lose track on keeping up with our friends (and why it's normal) 
3. How we arrived at the FINAL FINAL PLAN, and
4. What were the details of our "Big Day"

You can click on each of the specific topics to read on the articles I previously posted. 

We all have our own specific pace and attitude towards accomplishing a goal. Some prefer to arrange their weddings six months before, some three months prior. Again, as what I have always said since Day 1, do whatever suits you. As long as it is carefully planned and you poured your heart and mind in it, then it is perfect. In our case, we treated our wedding as a "project." One that has a start and an end. A goal that has a definite timeline. Having this perspective helped us in organizing our ideas and executing it with much ease. One of the most important realization I got from this is to ALWAYS share whatever knowledge you learned from the experience because who knows, it may be of significant help to others who might be undergoing the same. So in addition to all the learning I wrote before, here are some more practical tips that I wanted to impart to you.

• Project your activities along with your desired timeline

(Click image to view details larger) Mark it in green if the activity is done, yellow if on-going or red if it hasn't started yet.

Once you have decided on the church and reception of your choice, the next step would be completing the requirements. These varies depending on the church and the type of wedding you plan to have but I noticed that there are also "standard" documents or those similar across all Catholic churches and local civil registrars of your preferred city. The validity also differs from one another. To give you an overview, here's what you can accomplish in advance on a given date:

1. Six (6) months prior - Confirmation and baptismal certificate with wedding annotation, PSA (formerly NSO) copy of birth certificate and CENOMAR
2. Three (3) months prior - Marriage license application and attendance to  Pre Cana seminar 
• Pro tip: Attend your Pre Cana seminar before applying for your marriage license so that you won't need to attend the family planning seminar conducted by the local civil registrar.
3. One (1) month prior - Marriage banns and canonical interview 

Remember that these are the requirements if you are to be wed on a Catholic church only. Don't forget to double check whether you need to submit the original or just the photocopy. And always keep duplicates. Also include in the calendar your other preparations like sourcing out suppliers, gown fitting, pre-nup shoot among others so that you will have a guide on what needs to be prioritized first.

• Store all wedding-related documents properly

Divided the pages depending on who is requiring which type of document.

I am so thankful to one of my colleague, who was also a former bride too, when she advised me to use a clear book in storing all wedding-related files. It made my OC self happy! I did not had a hard time locating receipts, did not lose any important document and best of all, I was able to monitor what requirements I am lacking. If you're an old school like me, another excellent tool to use is a spreadsheet. I used Google sheet so that I can edit it anytime whether I'm at home or not since it is saved online. Projected budget, checklist and detailed expenses were all inside this very valuable sheet. If you are not comfortable to use this, you can choose from various templates and applications available online to help you instead.

• Distribute invitations as early as two months prior

Over-communicating is better than under. Send a soft and hard copy, if applicable, of your invitation at least two months and start confirming attendees two weeks (at the minimum) before the wedding. We opted for a one pager invite because really, other than us, who keeps a copy of their paper invites even after the wedding? I think none? It is also of added value if you can give the invitations personally so that your guests, most especially your sponsors, will feel special. Confirming guests sounds easy but in reality it can be a pain in the ass since the food, souvenir and seating arrangement depends on it. In all honesty, don't dwell too much on the latter because it will still change even on the day itself. Others would also cancel last minute. 

Pro tip: It is best to have a buffer of at least ten seats and also to have available containers for food leftovers. You'll surely need food ration after the wedding. 😂

• Find ways on how you could make your guests finish the program

I understand where you're coming from, it's your wedding and you wanted to do a lot of things to make it memorable, thus all the photo and video shoots as well as other "gimmicks." But let me tell you this frankly, no matter how special you are to them if they are hungry, full or have other commitments other than your wedding, they will still leave. 

In our case, since we were worried that our guests might leave early because our wedding is on a Thursday afternoon, we started the program ten minutes upon our arrival at the venue, prepared some snacks and a selfie station for them while they were waiting and made it a point to go to their tables to distribute the souvenirs because we wanted to personally say "thank you" before they leave one by one. In smaller and intimate weddings, you can be a bit sure that the people you invited are really close to you that they wouldn't mind staying until the wee hours of the night. Can you also do that for larger ceremonies? Maybe you can explore the possibility of a destination wedding too if you have huge budget? No one will leave if you are all staying in the same hotel, right? =)

• Pack the things you will need right after the wedding

So you are all busy thinking about the pre and on the day wedding happenings but please make sure you thought of all the things you will need post wedding. Most especially if you will still stay in a hotel right after. The basics such as make-up remover, hygiene kit and change of clothes are all a must. You're not thinking of sleeping in your gown and suit, I guess?

• ENJOY the celebration!  

Masaya ba tayo d'yan?

If you are down to only a week away from your wedding, please stop stressing yourselves out anymore. Your preparations from months before are already enough. The ceremony will go on its own without you having to worry. The only thing you should be busy with that day is how to bask in the most important moment of your lives. Your wedding, regardless of how lavish or simple, will only be remembered by the guests for a week or two. After that, the only persons who will talk about it is you and your spouse. Document it very well. Write about it, print photos and store videos because your children will be the next set of individuals who will be interested in recounting the events of that momentous day. Please savor every single detail.

• Save your monetary gifts

We politely requested for small envelopes as presents to us in our wedding because we thought this was the most practical. Our guests never failed us because about 95% actually gave monetary gifts. Marami pong salamat sa lahat ng nagbigay, sobre man po o pisikal na regalo, iingatan po namin lahat ito. So the question is, did we really get to have a 100% return on the total money we spent in the preparation? Of course not. Because it is not the reason we invited them in the first place. Whatever amount we got, we opened an account and labeled it as Savings for our starting family. Always remember to project cash flow and save before actually spending because you'll never know when you're going to take the next big step like getting pregnant, buying a house or a car.

• Get a copy of your Certificate of Marriage 

A lot of the wedding blogs I read never mentioned of the last step to officially end the preparations which is to get a copy of the Certificate of Marriage. Usually during the day of the wedding, the newlyweds, the priests and the sponsors sign three copies of this. You have to get your original copy in the church but it has no registry number yet. You still have to get a certified true copy at the local civil registry office because this will serve as a supporting document to your change of status or name in all your government related documents like SSS/GSIS, Pag-ibig, Philhealth and BIR. Why do you need to do this if there is a PSA copy of the marriage certificate? Because the latter takes about 3-4 months to process. Some say even up to six months! Unless you don't have anything urgent, you can choose to wait.

Final thoughts

Thinking about it, what the priest in our Pre Cana seminar said was correct all along. He said, "A wedding is just a day but a marriage is a lifetime." Cry tears of joy not only because the material things around you were beautiful or expensive but because you're finally married to the one you truly love. And nothing can ever amount to that.

I hope one or two things from my articles brought you enlightenment and inspired you that there are other practical ways on how you can get married with a limited budget - don't get easily intimidated! Good luck to all those who are planning to propose or to unite in marriage. I wish you nothing short of the best. 💛

-Misis D

(Note: Wedding insider is a series of articles that I will post regarding the happenings related to our BIG DAY.)